Rat Invasion, England In Panic!

Rat Invasion! Earthquake Dangers! Virus Infections! England In Panic!

According to one of our informants in England, thousands of rats are invading English sores and the English citizens are in panic. From what we heard, aliens have experimented on rats to change their behavior and characteristics. The rats are very fast runners, their new bionic legs make this possible to run up to 25km an hour. We fear the aliens are using them to invade England and poison it’s citizens.

Southern Myanmar

Thousands of rats are starting to make the villages in southern Myanmar unsafe. And if that is not worrying enough, they carry a new virus called “Gundobore”. This virus is released on the earth wherever they breed and will infest Earth’s crust causing breakups of the ground also called Sinkholes. If the infestation goes further and deeper it can cause earthquakes. Furthermore the rats gases released after eating, can cause weather phenomena like torrential rain causing heavy flooding.

Giant Rats

On the South Coast of England giant rats are spotted, the new breed size goes up to 19 inches (to get an idea, bigger than your cat). This new breed is resistant to any poison known on earth as they got resistant. Dr. Fard received one specimen in his laboratory in Switzerland and came to the conclusion it has been altered in DNA and it is a new mutated form with alien DNA. These rats can gnaw through everything, like wood and electrical cables.

Drone Observation

A drone was released to scan for more rats, according to the data there was a red alert initiated; up to 200 Million giant rats can soon be a horror to any citizen in England. The rats are spreading to rural areas, towns and cities. They will soon outnumber any English citizen on the scale of 3:1. According to Dr. Fard this is very worrying as the new rat races can spread to other countries. Rats are born masters in swimming.

Rat Exterminator

In the Internet you can find many Rat Exterminators in England. Besides hiring an Exterminator, you can also try a hand for yourself. Dr. Fard’s team has invented and organized many incentives to fight off these nasty invaders from your home. Below you find a list of the best items available so far.

Exterminator Weapons of Mass Confusion and Destruction

How to fight rats; get the latest incentives from Fard Industries Inc!

Slingshots

A new sport is born; the slingshots are available in all different sizes and colors. We advise you to use stones or metal projectiles when going on a rat hunt. Prices from 25$ upwards

Classic Wooden Bamboo Stick

Using sticks. Will it help much? According to Dr. Fard a stick might get rat’s attention to follow you from the left to the right. And then follow you into the direction you want them to go. Is it the stick or is it it’s color that binds them to follow you? Let us know your experience. Only 150$

Magical Ornamental Hunting Knife “Moon Wolf”

This knife is not just a standard knife. It has beautiful fixed wolf runes on the knife giving it special abilities. The power lays in the way you hold your knife. You need to hold it straight up in the moonlight and say the words “Wolfy Might, Wolfy Might, Come to my Aid, The Time is Right”. Your words work as a vibration to the knife and the knife converts it to Alpha vibrations calling up the wolves coming to your aid.

The wolves will see you as their Alpha and as a command to serve you during any battle. Caution: it will only work at a full moonlight. If the moon gets hidden by clouds you will loose this special power and the wolves will go their way. However, you can use it as a normal knife too. We recommend any hunter to get one of these special knifes. Price 11,499$

Dr. Fard’s Magical Flute Limited Edition

Rats love to listen to this Magical flute and they will follow you being in love with you. They will follow you in the masses, however there is only one little problem. Once you stop playing your Magical Flute, their love will turn into rage and they will see you as their food. You better be a fast runner! Hurry Up! Only one available 15,000$ (Dr. Ambrosius Fard Autographed Edition)

Rockstar Commander Lulani Kale

His music is famous in the Galaxy and currently he is giving rock concerts on Planet Wealthy Earth. When he can he will land his Starship and play from there. His magical music will attract thousands of people and make you happy, his magical sound will hunt away any rats up to 25 kilometers from the area he plays. His voluminous Speakers of 5000 watts make that possible. Price 35,000$ upwards per day.

Beautiful clean white marble throwing moonrocks.

Moonrocks, in all sizes available, improve your throwing skills, only 1$

Dr Moon’s “Onemoreglueblue Sticking Thunder”

Wherever you smear it, rats will get stuck and you can pick the rats up one by one, humans are not affected. 500ml for 175$, special offer: buy 2 for 300$

Hellfire 666, eXtreme powerful Flamethrower

Burn rats to hell with this extremely powerful flamethrower. Make sure your team mates are behind you. Spreading range is up to 100 meter, temperature reaches up to 2000°C, comes with a 20 liter tank for the special fuel, burning duration between 1-3 hours depending on the intensity of use, Price 5,999$

Available upgrades: add a tazer to your flame thrower, a coming in handy as a last resort should you ever run out of fuel too fast. The tazer has a spreading effect and will electrocute anything up to 50 meters in front of you. Price 1,499$

Warning extremely dangerous, keeping the flame too long into one direction will start to melt your surroundings. 

Poisonator X718

Make sure you are well protected before using this extremely dangerous Poisonator killing anything and everything getting in contact with this special space weed poison from the Astral Zone. This new black space weed was discovered recently and reverse engineered by Fard Industries. Killing duration up too 6 hours. Price 19,599$

Quadruple barred Shotgun with laser aim called “The Eliminator”

This newly developed shotgun will help you to aim on the thousands of rats running into your direction. The spreading range is 4 meters horizontal and ranges up to 30 meter from shooting point. It can be loaded with 40 bullets, giving you 10 shots. Reloading time is 5 minutes, so you better climb onto a tree during reload. Price 16,999$ including 120 bullets.

Laser Armed Sniper Rifle called the “Blob”

Are you a loner, do you prefer high grounds, love to see everything from above? Then this is the perfect weapon for you. This amazing Laser Rifle lets even a master in sharpshooting get green in his face. The special rifle zoom allows you to aim at any rat from 5km distance. The shots fired with this rifle are soundless and mega fast.

It allows you to shoot up to 20 shots per minute, then a cooling down of 3 minutes is needed or the rifle might cause an overcharge and blob you into the afterlife. Once you hit a rat, it blobs like a fly you hit with a hammer. One Power Cartridge holds for 300 shots and they are easy to carry with you. Price 24,999$ including one Cartridge.

Charming Golden Pistol

Is it the color or is it the material? No one knows exactly, but according to Robocarl it gives him all the confidence he needs to use it in a very effective way. He has 2 of these babies with him ones he is on a mission. We believe it must be the 18k gold that attracts him to use these beautiful pistols. Price 44,999$ including 2 cartridges

Hammer of Thorn “Ragnarok, Hammer of Eternal Damnation”

Are you a crusader, do you love the hard work by smashing and slashing around you, feeling the slime all over you? Do you love games like “Hit The Mole”? Then the two handed Hammer of Thorn is what you need. It is beautifully handcrafted with wood and steel and the grip has beautiful golden artefact’s and can be upgraded with Runes for special abilities. Weight 35 kilo. Price 28,999$

Sword of Thorn “Pledge of the Plague”

This heroic sword will assist you in fighting off any plague. It is said it can cause visions during a battle letting you see things from another dimension. But it might also be an advertisement gag to increase it’s sales. Curious? Buy one and let us know your experience and we might write a special edition about it. Price 17,999$

Modern Laser Surveygun

Are you a survivor? Are you a loner who loves to relax and exterminate pests coming into your crosshair without moving a finger? The Surveygun, which looks like a normal engineered laser beam for a construction site, is a converted automatic stationed railgun shooting at first sight of any enemy intrusion.

You are going to love the splashing sounds of this baby. We recommend minimum 2, but better 4 to enjoy your relaxing time while the Surveyguns are doing their job for you. We advise you to take some extra heavy duty backup battery capacitors, should you ever run out of energy. Distance 175 Meter, shooting intervals 35 shots per minute, unlimited ammo (as long as you have energy) Price 8,999$ each.

Quantum Sight XYII, Optical Time Vision

Infranight / Shallow 3D Glasses, focused on the protection of any wearer of these special glasses. It is used in combat missions too and an absolutely must have for any Exterminator. These glasses let you look through all situations.

It comes even with a time distortion field look allowing you to see enemy movement for 5 seconds in slow motion giving you the possibility to act faster at the speed of light. Ever wondered how an alien looks from the inside? Activate the Shallow 3D Vision and you will be able to see any internal organ movement; caution works on humans too. Price 6,999$

Fard TranSmart C1 Smartphone

The newest invention of Fard Industries and gives you the best in communications on the planet. It has the fastest Quantum-processor on board: the DRavel 7000 (a 27 qubit processor). What is so special about this Smartphone? Well it is a transparent phone and it can be used in both directions. Whenever you communicate your sight on any situation or enemy stays clear.

Furthermore group communications can take place as people can individually communicate from both sides at the same time.

How about some combat movement information, simply attach this Smartphone to your “Eliminator” Shotgun or any other weapon of Fard Industries and see from far what enemy you have in front of you, you will know its weaknesses on the spot, as this Smartphone is connected to the Xandria Library having all possible known alien species in the database, making it easier for any combatant in engaging the enemy. Price 2,999$

Dr. Fard’s Fake Glasses and Moustaches-on-sticks Look

Surprise your enemy with these funny and confusing fake glasses and moustaches making you look like Dr. Fard. After engaging a rat it is not always said you will be able to exterminate it. As the rat can remember your face, we recommend this ease of use swapping set to change your look into a Dr. Fard look.

This will cause any rat to have a state of confusion for a couple of seconds, just enough time to get away, hey in a time of emergency every second counts. Only 99$

Cobit Confucius Gun

If you love pets and you believe rats are pets too, you want to save the house-pet rat race at any cost, then this gun from Fard Industries is for you. Helping your team mates identifying the right alien rats from original rats.

Simply by using Octogluecolour paint licensed under Moon Industries. Aim and spray any rat from 500 meters distance, the paint will color any harmless rat blue. Warning: it can color your teammates too and the paint remains for at least 6 months (perhaps now we know where the term Smurf is coming from).

Best to use in a team. We recommend you team up with your mates using the Eliminator Shotgun. Price 6,999$

The Ghillie Suit

This suit is the perfect camouflage suit for any soldier or exterminator fighting off evil rats and aliens. This suit will perfectly camouflage you in any forest. Available in all sizes, colors: Green, Brown and White (snow edition). Price from 1,399$ upwards.

The Radonuke Suit

This is the suit for any exterminator working near nuclear power plants. It is known that alien rats love radiation and so it is of utmost importance to protect yourself from radioactive rats. This suite gives you 100% protection, is flexible to walk in and has speech controls in the helmet allowing you to keep in contact with your team mates during field operations.

Available in the following colors: Yellow and Pink (special glow in the dark edition). Price from 1,699$ upwards

Remote Time Bomb Trap

This remote time bomb is made of dynamite and an electronic timer. Use these heavy explosive devices with caution and as a last resort to protect you from being overrun by rats. The blast radios is 200m, remote distance is 1 kilometer. Let it boom. Price 499$ including the remote controller.

Implosives

These implosives can come in handy. Infiltrate the breeding grounds of the rats and place many implosives in their breeding chamber. Make a run and enjoy the massive explosions of these little babies. We recommend 25 implosives per chamber. Timer activation is 30 minutes. Price 599$ each, special offer buy 20 for 10,000$

Standard Fighting Grenades

These standard hand grenades come in handy in any tactical situation, where too many rats are blocking a breakthrough of enemy lines. They make life so much easier. Choose your favorite form and color. Price 299$, buy 24 and receive a Transporter Bag for free (value 199$).

Rexinator

This purebred German Shepherd has exclusively been trained by Dr. Fard himself with assistance of Monster. After a miraculous saving of Dr. Fard, he is a real hero dog and will be your best buddy. Rexinator has an excellent nose and can sniff out anything for you. He loves the game throw and play, where you throw a ball and then run with him to see who is first to get the ball. Price 6,999$ per week.

Alsatian Trained Wolf

The Alsatian Wolf will assist you in any mission, be it a protector, attack wolf or transport wolf. Besides,  he will be your best friend and you won’t be alone wherever you go. This wolf is specialized in sniffing up any rat, troll or alien. Limited availability due to rat invasion, price 4,999$ per week including transport bags.

SFFAT (Special Forces Fighting Aliens Team)

The SFFAT team is specialized in guerrilla fighting from house to house and offer in this way extra protection against nasty rats, who love to hide in houses waiting for the right moment to attack you. Each team has a radar tracker that shows the enemy as red dots on their device.

To separate you from the enemy you will receive a tracker you wear and so the team identifies you as a green blip on their screen. They will be able to aid you quickly should you ever get surrounded by too many rats. Their helmets include night vision and communicating devices to stay in contact with you at any given moment.

Price per team per week only 9,999$

Drone Hunter Assassin

The Drone Hunter assassin is your perfect team mate in taking out a rat queen. He sneaks and moves almost invisible past enemy lines to infiltrate any rat nest seeking out the queen rat and kill her in a covert strike. Once a queen has been killed, their followers are clueless and plan-less and in this way an easy target for your other team members.

These assassins are trained by Captain Cathy McWarmheart, leader of the Drone Hunters Resistance.

Should not miss in any rat extermination mission. Price 9,999$ per week.

Jumpy Boots

These boots can come in handy in any case of emergency. They use energy cells and can be reloaded. The Jumpy Boots have 3 defense options you can choose from during your mission:

Rocket Jump; jump 100 meters high. Warning: we strongly advise some jumping training before use, the last jumper landed upside down

Super Speed; ever wondered how it feels like you are out of control of your own feet and legs? Super Speed lets you run ultra fast for 25 seconds long, getting you out of harm’s way by simply running at high speed (60km per hour). You better watch your steps.

Stamp Shocker; ever wanted to shock some evil rats? Wait till you are surrounded by hundreds of them, knock your boots 2 times quickly together and stamp. Any rat in direct surrounding will be electrocuted by a heavy shock-wave of 2000 volts. Warning: aftershocks are possible, we recommend to stand still and wait for at least 5 seconds before moving away from your position.

Mission Statement

We are awaiting approval from the English authorities on our planet Wealthy Earth and we will prepare a mission in the hunt for these alien rats. We will inform you once we receive new updated information on this invasion.

The Joker, Editor in Chief of The Daily Wealthy Affiliate